Bend or Break

I just had an interesting inclination to tell myself to not judge myself based off of how much money that I have and am making today. Because if I were to judge myself based on my life circumstances a few months ago, I could easily come up with the conclusion that I have actually gotten less successful with time. But this is just not true no matter how you see it. Though I am technically making less money than I was before, I feel more successful than I have ever been before. It’s one thing to make the money, but if you don’t feel successful while doing it, then are you really successful? I’d say not because success is ultimately a feeling and how you choose to describe it.

Now, would I say that I am successful in my current state? No, because I still want more, but I want to attain that “more” in my own way. I feel like what makes me more successful than previous versions of myself is that I am more so setting up the lifestyle and patterns of behavior that I want to continue with into the future. Though I do want to teach, as I feel like it is a responsible, and noble position that can bring tremendous meaning and value into my life, I also want the freedom and liberation to not have a boss if I choose. I want to continue to educate myself so that I may continue to learn how to make money on my own and support myself successfully. Though my set-up of tutoring online, and in person one to three times a week is not extremely lucrative, it still empowers me and makes me feel as if it is I who really controls my destiny. And in fact, this was always true. If I am good enough, I eat, if I am talented enough I eat, if I am creative enough, I eat…

The pressures of not having a steady check on a weekly basis, have forced me into a myriad of uncomfortable situations over the past few months. But these same pressures have forced me to step up to the plate naturally. I have to be creative to find new sources of money, I have to be a good tutor to retain my students, and I have to be on my game at all times to jump on whatever I find that can help take me to the next level. Still today, I am looking, thinking of ways and methods that can be applied to my life today, that can augment my current reality and push me further into the current that I truly wish to be in.

I want to be able to work from anywhere in the world, to be able to travel and meet new people, to be able to have an impact and matter, and to be able to wake up and go back to bed if I choose. I want to be the boss. These experiences are what I want to be able to hand down to my children so that they can grow up to be as cool as their dad. These are also the experiences and lessons that I also want to share with my community as well.

What continues to push me is the fact that I continue to assume more and more responsibility for my own life, and for other’s lives as well. Realistically there is no alternative for me. The other options are just too boring, easy, and plain. I want to do this. I want to achieve these financial goals. In fact, I will. So I must take massive action and stick to a plan.

Let me know what you think

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: